Tuesday Morning Hangovers

Star Wars. Episode V. Luke Skywalker finds out that the person he’s been fighting against has been his very own blood. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer” I’m adding another line, “but keep your family…even closer” #week8

Tuesday Morning Hangovers

"Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead." #weekseven

Week 7: East VS. West

Hery Diaz is a small time gangster, who takes part in robberies with a local gang known only as "The Sesame Street Gang". Hitting small towns here and there has gotten him where he is today: a 6-0 record. And after unleashing an early attack upon one hood by racking up 18.20 points in one night...this time, I'm afraid he has attacked the wrong area.

Out of the dust rises a crime lord by the name of Reece but only those who know what's good for them call him "The Heartbreak Kid". This Heartbreak Kid closely resembles Kermit the Frog...in a twisted, fantasy football cover story kind of way. Along with this "Kermit" are two other gangsters who have set their
sights a bit higher for their division. His two partners, Gonzo (The Sons of Thunder) & Animal (Prophets 'n' Kings) wish to kill off everyone else involved in
this robbery, and slowly start to climb up through the hierarchy of the
Mob to completely eliminate the East side of Division 1.

Hery calls upon his own division this week, being week 7. But will it truly be enough? This week is truly the battle of divisions, gentlemen. Is Hery really willing to continue to throw his fellow division-mates under the bus or will he finally step up and cheer them on? Only time will tell. And this weekend, may I be so bold to predict...West will DEMOLISH the East & The Muppet Fellas will continue to reign supreme. And as for Hery & his Sesame Street Gang? Well, I think you can see what happens when he messes with Kermit & crew.

So, the popular peacemaker question may be asked:

Why must we fight? I mean, we should solve our differences in a non-violent manner, right? That is a lesson I learned from Elmo. When all else fails, however, we should break things. That is a lesson I learned from Animal.

May the best division win & may Sesame Street's crew forever be stomped. I'm sorry, but 6-1, 3-4, 2-5, and 1-6 are coming up quicker than you can even say "cookies". And I think we all know who resembles cookie monster with that quote.

Leggo,


-JB

Tuesday Morning Hangovers

You guys always give me crap for my superstitious ways, but the story you’re about to hear is true. And kids…feel free to try this at home.  #weeksix

The True Mexican Stand Off

Since the beginning, The Educators have relentlessly hunted down The Gotham Knights & The Sith, the Sesame Street Gang has kept in gunslingin strides with The Heartbreak Kid. The Sons of Thunder plot in secret, ready to take out one side or the other. But who are the merciless Outlaws, willing to gun down anyone? Could it be Ghostface Vilma or Limited Edition? Or could the ultimate killer be playing it cool, resting and waiting until nobody suspects him...and then BOOM! Will The Bane rise to surprise them all? To find out who will have the true six shooters of week six but with minds as ammo, we'll just have to wait until tomorrow night.

Now the real Sheriff has decided to settle things once and for all in his own way. He has written a name on one single bullet. That name, this week...is Dan Martinez. No volcanic gun will ever be able to get you out of this one, homey. And don't pretend to be my deputy like that one time...I know how you do. In reality, you're no better than the rest of these outlaws. Until that clock strikes noon and those bells chime...be ready to draw (and I ain't talkin no math figures)!!


Anybody up for a week of Bang!? See ya'll in the Wild, Wild West.

-JB

Kill the Big Bird

I agree with Mitt Romney on at least one thing: We must kill big bird.

For those who aren't aware, Romney suggested that PBS be cut government funding to avoid borrowing more money from China.

Big Bird is an idea. Sesame street used to be the avenue of the common man. In recent year however, massive immigration issues and an influx of borrowed power have gone to this bird's head. It's time for change America. The imported imperial rug must be pulled from under the arrogant feet of this overstuffed pigeon. His success is built on the broken trust of prophets and kings, and laced with the deceitful jargon of trade. America, remember your roots. I believe the big bird would serve us all much better stuffed and slow roasted next to the cranberry sauce and yams.

- Bane

Tuesday Morning Hangovers...

This was a pretty low scoring week all around, so after a few “What the flip!?” “Dag gummit!” and the priceless, “I hate fantasy football” Week five is in the books…

"I Will Follow You, Wherever You Go"

If only I had time to turn on the light and expose the dark side of things... I would share this story. I might later, but the picture pretty much explains itself. Let's just keep in mind that the "undefeated" BatBoy was defeated by the Winless Rabbi, last week, and I'll continue to keep this thing rolling. The Dark Side is shared by both entities, and the entire Empire may choose to fall altogether this weekend. It is in the hands of the Sith to defend their honor... but as you can see... his hands are a little occupied at the moment! lol

Dwarf Vader has continued his campaign all over town, "Don't Underestimate the Dark Side." You may have seen his posters with this tag-line all over schools, hospitals, and bathrooms. Let me share something with you bro, that might save you a little time and money... "We got you! We know!" I can honestly say that we never underestimated you, period. We actually did the opposite and overestimated you! But don't worry though. We won't make the same mistake again. We will honor you credit you well deserve. Just try to get a win before the season ends.

Teacher

The Truth About Trades...

Meet Hery Diaz. GM of the Sesame Street Gang (and hypothetical owner of the Miami Heat).

A few weeks ago, Mr. Diaz-Riley wrote a fantastic piece on the importance of trading in a fourteen week season of fantasy football. Siquel and Ebert gave it a “two spell checks” up! I hyphen Pat Riley to Hery Diaz’s name because of the similarities they share. If Hery could wear Italian suits, he would…if he could slick his hair (which he’s probably tried) he would…and if he could get away with telling you half the truth, he would…

Trades are designed to enhance your team. Correct. However here’s what Hery Diaz-Riley didn’t tell you in his “truth about trades”…

Tuesday Morning Hangovers...

Ladies and girls! For the first time ever in NFL history, last night: a quarterback threw a game winning interception!!! *Que the Asian dancers* - this is the type of silly season we’ve been having… #weekfour

I Feel Ya Homie...

Flashback: And just think bro... you hid this from your facebook hoping these days were over hahaha Good Game Buster!!