Choices, choices, choices...

Sometimes I hate that the determinate in your victory boils down to you deciding between him or him...

Ladies, Welcome to the Playoffs...

It officially starts...now

Gone Fishing and New Traditions!

So this is what the off season is like... 

After five years, we’ve all come to know each other…we’ve played, trash talked, even had our first live draft. This will be that group of guys fifteen years from now you’ll still be playing with simply because it’s always been that way. With that said, after five years I feel that we need our own traditions, sayings, and inside jokes that pertain only to this league. I, the Commish, hereby make a motion that these names be kept...forever

1-0!

the elephant is marcus! hhahahahahaha

Friendly Advice.

~Bishop

Draft Weekend

The Art of War

Swag.

Hello gentlemen,

You see this guy in the pic above? Believe it or not, there's a lesson to be learned there, and it's this: In fantasy football, it doesn't matter where you live, what you look like, or what you do during your normal life, on Sundays (and some Mondays) you're a warrior, a gladiator, and a potential champion in the making. It doesn't matter if you're a fan of the Eagles, the Steelers, or the Patriots, or if your favorite team is notoriously wretched (Rams or Niners fans? Yeah, we're talking about you.) Maybe you're a young, wide-eyed rookie to this game, memories of sitting on the couch watching "The Backyardigans" while eating a PB & J sandwich still fresh in your mind--my sources suggest that this was how Teddy G spent his summer. Or perhaps, you're a seasoned veteran, almost ready to start getting that senior discount at the local Golden Corral, like our league's elder-statesman, Michael Polite, a man whose hairline starts so far back, you'd need to borrow the keys to Marty McFly's DeLoreon to find it ("Back to the Future" reference; look it up on Wikipedia if you're a '90s baby. Or Steve). The beauty of having these contrasting dynamics? None of this matters.

Any man, at any given time, can be a winner in this league. Sometimes, guys who were seemingly unstoppable juggernauts one year, fizzle out to become softer than baby hands the next. Other GMs can begin a season as seemingly as inept as ex Vikings coach Brad Childress (yes, I'm still bitter about Moss last year), and upon making the playoffs by some miracle, achieve a level of greatness that causes each of the other nine GMs to consider retirement just on principle. It's just how this stuff goes. There is room for growth, learning, and let's face it, a bunch of luck in becoming a successful GM in this league.

Some of us are businessmen. Some of us are ministers. Some of us are job hunting. Some of us are fathers. Some of us are husbands. Some of us shouldn't be trusted to keep a pet beta fish alive. But each of us, with the right level of attention to detail, scheduling, and fun, can be a warrior, a winner, and a champion. Three days 'till draft day, gentlemen. Game on.

~Bishop

Don't Let THIS Happen To You...

Real simple, check your rosters. Thanks.

~Bishop

A Totally Context Free Photo...

Apparently, Mr. Foster thinks we're sick. [*Cranes neck at Dan* I think he's talking about you, dawg.] Apparently, Mr. Foster should watch his hammy and quit crying,...#ImJustSaying (you see what I did there?)

~Bishop

Countdown To Draft Day (Part 1)...

Well ladies,

In just a few short days, we'll all be lined up at Draft Central for this year's live draft. (It's the first time we've truly done this!) Each of our league's talented and well dressed GMs (oh, and Dan) will show up to start building their foundation to championship glory. It's an exciting time, and in the spirit of this, I figured it'd be a good time for me to take my talents to The Pigskin, and start blogging! While ya'll are online studying whether or not to draft all Eagle's players this year, I'll be dropping a little bit of football-related goodness each day to build our appetites for this season. Today, a classic clip from an '80s football gem--if you've never seen at least part of this movie, you were either A) a '90s baby, and thus have nothing further to talk to me about, as you still drink Similac, B) Raised an extremely conservative Adventist (or a PK)--which is basically the same as being Amish, or C) You're Steve. Which is basically the same as "all of the above".



Good luck this weekend,
~Bishop

Don't do anything stupid...

Watching The Throne

For months and months there was speculation about whether there would be football this season, or if we would have to resign ourselves to creating a WNBA fantasy league (think about that for a moment...*shudder*). Grown men began to question the meaning of their existence. Seemingly lost without a cause, these men became shells of their former selves; groaning, aimless zombies, shambling through the aisles of the local Wal-Mart in search of a diversion, possessing not a single hope for their futures. After all, what was the point?: Without football, what else is there really to do between August and February? How else would our Sundays and Monday nights be spent during those chilly autumn months, as winter creeps in?

Already, the lockout so deeply affected us, even during the football-free summer months, that our very own commissioner Reece took up blogging about drinking water and going to farmer's markets (http://collegecelebrity.blogspot.com)! Reigning champ Hery (more on him in a bit) moved to the mountains--presumably to join some mountain cult and commune with Jim Henson puppets or something. If there was no football, what would Francois do in those cold months besides wear v-neck sweaters that are 2 sizes too small? Would Steve have to resign himself to long days of StumbleUpon, and long nights of working on a recipe for tofu-seaweed brownies or something? The horror!

Mercifully, someone has heard the cries of men everywhere, and football has been restored...Which brings me to current events: This season. Right now, 9 out of 10 teams and GMs have been identified (with the mystery 10th team still waiting in the shadows...), and we're looking at another dynamic season, hopefully boosted by the addition of GM Teddy G and his team "Team Go for Gold". Here is your welcome Teddy: Quit now. Retire. Stick to being a rapper/actor. This league has a way of wearing men down into shriveled up caricatures of what they were like--juice box drinking, fruit snack eating, Pokemon watching school children (Shout out to "The Educators", "The Team", and "The Maven").

Meanwhile, let us turn our attention to what really matters--The Chip. The Title. The Championship. The Throne. Last year, by skill, by bribery, by some freak accident, or perhaps by Illuminati conspiracy, Hery D pulled out a victory and became the champ. We must congratulate him on his excellence. In all seriousness, he is a true student of the game, putting in serious time and effort to craft a strong team (even while he was a student). He is also a passionate, innovative, trash-talker, and must be recognized for that...Somehow he took a cornball gimmick, mixed it with jokes that Tyler Perry would've rejected, and yet, managed to legitimately insult us--and win while doing it. (We can never let this happen again) The Throne is his, and for now, he is king. But a wise king watches his back, as there are those, even now, before draft day, before preseason has even started, before all 10 teams have even been identified, who are planning, plotting, lining up a strategy to take the crown. Don't let the previous years' victories go to your head my friend, for it's a new day. The Throne will soon be up for grabs again, and only time will tell if its' current ruler will keep or throne, or be forced to vacate. Game on gentlemen.

~Bishop

The Commish Report: The New Champ

See you next year Educator!

The Elite League (Episode 1)

Classroom Productions: Hery's Secret

Classroom Productions: Nervous Breakdown

Detention Doodles: Heartbreak Kid

Detention Doodles: Poor Nathan

The Elite League: Poser!

Merry Christmas.. The Sons of thunder! fantasy football

Gotham Knight must SEE!!

Gotham Knight vs The Bane - Week 8

Sesame Street GANG - Fantasy Football!! (Mock)

Unfortunately, I was unable to find Hery's original video that was made to mock our now (cough) champion...

The Commish Report: Limited Edition

This week on the Commish Report: we sit down with Nathan Graves, owner of Limited Edition. He gives us a recap of last year, summer changes and his outlook on 2010. (Reece Valentine host)

The Commish Report: Mighty Men of Benjamin

This week on the Commish Report: we sit down with Michael Polite, owner of the Mighty Men of Benjamin. He gives us a recap of last year, summer changes and his outlook on 2010. (Reece Valentine host)

The Commish Report: The Educators

This week on the Commish Report: we sit down with Dr. Joe Allison, a teacher to Dan Martinez (owner of the Sesame Street Gang). He gives us a recap of last year, summer changes and his outlook on 2010. (Reece Valentine host)

The Commish Report: Sesame Street Gang

This week on the Commish Report: we sit down with Hery Diaz, owner of the Sesame Street Gang. He gives us a recap of last year, summer changes and his outlook on 2010. (Reece Valentine host)

Welcome

Gentlemen, the time has come. Once again it is time to bury ourselves into rankings and player updates, time to order the NFL Sunday Ticket, time to get out the ol' lucky rabbit's foot, and it is time to laugh at each other like men. This blog is to serve as an alternative to our recently departed storyboard and you may treat it as such. Post, roast, and poke fun at misspellings. Let the games begin.

-Bane