Tuesday Morning Hangovers

“For every call that you get right on a weekly basis, you probably got like twenty wrong…” #weeknine

Rant of the Week I

Spoiler Alert: Brace yourself for a my diatribe against the St. Louis Rams…

Perhaps it’s because I just watched my Cardinals lose the world series, but I’m absolutely sick of the my team, the St. Louis Rams. Two weeks ago, I heard a story that has finally pushed me to the brink: the Rams contacted Brett Favre about joining the team. This was my reaction upon hearing the news: “!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*!@#$%^&*” My sworn nemesis…Brett Favre? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

I could rant about that forever, but I'm going to use this as the perfect transition to something I’ve wanted to talk about for awhile. The Rams contract for their dome is about to expire and there have been talks of the team leaving St. Louis. History recap: St. Louis team used to be the “Cardinals” but they moved to Arizona and the "Los Angeles Rams” came to St. Louis. Now it might happen, again...

I’m explaining all of this to say if the Rams leave St. Louis, I will become a Free Agent Fan. Free. Professional teams can sometime represent the heart and soul of a city. The Yankee would never leave New York, the Cowboys would never leave Dallas, the Lakers will never leave LA. Therefore if a team hands a city divorce papers, you don't have to give them the kids and your heart, too! So I decided to explore my options...think about it. This would be a the greatest opportunity granted me in life.

This would be a chance for a rebirth. Favorite teams are choosen at such an early time in life and by region, family ties or simply fallen in love with one player at five who no longer plays anymore but you're still there. How many people are priviledged to pick their "favorite" team at a sensible age? 

Here are the four teams I've written down for consideration:  

1.       Denver Broncos

2.       Kansas City Chiefs

3.       Dallas Cowboys

4.       Carolina Panthers

Denver Broncos

This pick has nothing to do with their recent success, if you weren’t aware, I actually was born in Denver, Colorado and moved back there during my teenage years. We moved away when I was four and by the time we came back I already belonged to St. Louis. Honestly, I’ve always wished we stayed here…I dislike being a Cardinals, Rams and…Spurs fan. Denver has all four major sports. However after spending years disliking Ryan’s Broncos, I’d hate to join but it is my background.  

Kansas City Chiefs

This pick more to do with family history; my Father is a Chief fan, so it’d be easier to parenthetically be the prodigal son coming home to his father’s team. However I can count on one hand how many years the Chiefs have actually been relevant so historically I’d be knowingly walking into the same historical situation but it’s at least in the same state as St. Louis. Plus, if I consider my children, then there'd be three generation of Chiefs fan. Can't you see how this is such a big decision? 

Dallas Cowboys

From kindergarten through grade school, I was the biggest Cowboys fans. I had all the cards, memorabilia, etc. It wasn’t until we moved to St. Louis that I ever lived in a city that had any professional team. My parents still think of me as a closet Cowboys fan so going back wouldn’t surprise them. This would be the only reason I would return to Dallas, otherwise I have no other ties to the team of my childhood nor do I particularly care for them. Also, I'd be closer to the Spurs.

Carolina Panthers

I added one more team more for diversity, but this selection is for one reason only…(ironically) number one, Cam Newton. My favorite current player in today’s game and an all around stud. However this pick would be solely based upon a player and Cam won’t be around forever which would leave me stuck in Carolina for the rest of my life which is also why it’s my last option.

Finally, I could follow them to Los Angeles, if I was a buffoon…ideally if the Rams did leave St. Louis, I would probably take the year off to survey the land. Whatever team I selected next, (barring some act of money) would be my team for the rest of my life. That’s not a decision that should be made quickly. Also, you should be aware that the moment I decide to move, the Rams would most likely win the Superbowl. This is my life we’re talking about, so it makes sense. What sayest thou?

Rant of the Week II

I've already taken up much of your time, but since I dedicated last week's TMH to a historical review, I'm like a week behind on "things that make me irrate...about fantasy football." My raves are generally harder to come up with than my rants because I'm a sad strange little man. In otherwords, TMH will be around for years to come. With that said, here are snipets of this week's thoughts. If there's one you particulary like, I'll expound more on another weekend.

• The first ten minutes of any football game is the most overrated part of the game.
• It's usually because I expect my players to score all their points...within ten minutes.
• They usually score anytime I walk away from the televison. Go Figure.
• Most of any game is spent hoping any of players get a 90 yard run or recieving touchdown
• Also, do you ever get the feeling that you draft the consistent scorer the year he's not? 
• I seriously hope the tenth commandment on coveting doesn't include other guy's players.
• Honestly, I'd rather my player not get the ball at all than get it and get stopped on the one.
• And then proceed to watch another person score it. Infuriating.
• A lot of players say they don't care about FF, but seriously 40 yards? Have some self respect.
• I absolutely HATE coaches.
• I’m convinced fantasy football must have come between Mike Shananahan and his wife. 
• Because he hate fantasy football. He’s Darth Vader and Belicheck is the Emperor.
• Remember the Bills saying, “we’re going to give Spiller the ball till he throws up…” 
• I'm convinced Steve's team came to play soley to avoid being on this week's "Ugly People"
• That can't really happen can it? Trust me, they did...dude's a genius, I tell you.
• That player is blowing up. I'll put in a waiver claim so I can get an email that says I didn't win.
• Crap, I told a GM that player sucks and now he's blowing up. Now I'm going to hear about it.
• Some should invent a prediction game, like FF, but simply call it, "told you so" Make millions.
• As much as we all hope to have a player that plays MNF, we all hope we've won by then.
• Judging by Nick Foles physical frame? My future kids have a shot at making the NFL.  

I'm out like my former favorite team...

CBK

P.s. I promise, I haven’t forgotten about explaining…stay tune.