Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Tuesday Morning Hangovers

"Sir today is Tuesday and we don't have our Hangover yet. Get your act together. (Also, I'm actually ranked worse than "The Bane." I need to get MY life in order.)" - Gotham Knights #weektwo

Rave of the Week

Yesterday, I spent the majority of my Sunday in a hospital. No scores were checked. My grandmother’s health has been gradually on the decline. It’s almost limpid to write, but this is definitely the beginning of the end. There will be good and bad days, but the inevitable introduced itself to me this weekend.  

It’s an inexplicable feeling to realize that someone you love will one day be gone. My emotions aren’t even aware of this reality yet and I’d rather leave them sleeping for the time being. I mean, I’m going to die someday, but do I really believe it? No…of course not. We always assume we’ll wake up tomorrow, that’s why reality can hit so hard. I’ve never lived on this world without my grandma…is that possible?    

Ultimately as I sat there, I realized that this was very much normal. As I sat in the room, I couldn’t help but gaze upon my Father. There’s no man on the planet I want to be like more than my Dad, save Jesus. Yet, my Father didn’t even have a Dad by the time he was Maucus’ age. Having a Father isn’t normal. I've often wondered what it'd be like to have a grandfather...I owe him. He gave me a great Dad and a sweet name. Some opportunities we aren't given in life; make the most of great things when you realize that you have them.   

As Hery states on the message boards every year, I love this league. We’re all aware that this league isn’t normal. We talk about it all the time. However one day this league will cease to exists, too. The comedy, comradery, competition…someday you will be reading this and it will just be a truly treasured memory.

Is this post a bit lugubrious? Yeah, well so is getting waxed by your kid brother in week 2 by 40 points…

I uncommonly express all of that to write this…enjoy THIS season. There will never be one like it. 

Read every writer’s amplified story. Respond to every jocular message post. Vote on every silly poll. Laugh at every trade you offer you get. Complain about missed waivers. Watch every amateurish video.

Although we’ve had 10 great years…it still isn’t normal.

Rant of the Week

This weekend my band of merry men put forth an honorable performance and I still got WAXED by like 40 points. I hate losing, but honestly…I’m quite content with it. For consecutive weeks I’ve posted over 100 points and Brady and Belicheck are going for it on 4th & 1 in the 4th quarter up THREE scores. #relax

What’s worse than a loss? A deceptive win. I say deceptive, because it creates a false sense of security. Gentlemen, I will take consistency 7 days out of the week (10, if we’re using the French Republican calendar). Look at how many players blew up last week and were absolute no shows this weekend?

You see, it’s not about the standings…

At one point in my fictional football career, I cared about the weekly standings. The aim is to finish first, right? Yet, that rank doesn’t matter to me, anymore. (Currently in 5th) I’ve found a statistic that means more to me than the weekly rise and fall of the Elite Empire. An excellent reminder to read your history.

Since transitioning from Fox sports to NFL.com in 2010, the team that finished the regular season with the highest point total has ALWAYS won the held the crown. There have been no exceptions to this rule. I doubt it stops this year. “The team that scores the most points, usually wins…” – ESPN Analyst Tip 101

In 2013 the Sesame Street Gang finished with the number one seed and Heartbreak Kid finished in third, but for the year had the highest scoring team. Spoiler Alert: Who has the most points so far this season? J

I’m out like Brees, Romo, Cutler and 2014 Andrew Luck…


HBK 

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