The Legend of Our Trading Black Hole

Boys! 

Gather around…   

As I tell you an infamous campfire story… 

This a tale because we needed a legit creative piece. 

*It happened a long time ago, in a league far, far away… 

A story so impactful, its effects are still felt today… 

*An impact, so great, HBK & L.E. are the only GMs who survived… 

*One of the first trades in the Elite history took place. 

Mighty Men of Benjamin sent Gotham Knights a trade offer. 

*A season vet, Rudy Johnson for the rookie…Adrian Peterson.  

The rest is history, my friends… 

*Mighty Men of Benjamin went on to win the belt that year.

*He’s basically winning at everything in life now, too. 

And Gotham Knights? 

*It’s rumored he still hears “You Duck!” over and over in his head. 

*It’s rumored Sons of Thunder has never even traded because of this. 

Gotham Knights was never the same…ever, again. 

He just… 

Shut.   

Down. 

R.I.P. 

He stopped trading. 

He stopped shaving… 

He stopped cutting his hair… 

He moved away from everyone he knew… 

And now he’s stopped setting his lineup, too. 

The moral of the story is you should definitely have Direct TV.   

And this is why Gotham Knights will never ever trade with you.

*Also, my article was in the shape of how you read a heart rate monitor.  

The Elite League (Off Field) Awards

Let’s be clear, as much as we all love fantasy football, this league wouldn’t be anything without all of the off the field incidents, events, etc. Therefore I’ve put together some of the best for your consideration…if you feel as if someone got robbed, speak up!

RIVAL OF THE YEAR NOMINATIONS

-          The Educators vs. Gotham Knights

-          The Educators vs. Sons of Thunder

-          The Educators vs. Sesame Street Gang

WINNER: The Educators vs. Gotham Knights

Synopsis: All of these are pretty close and it’s funny that Dan makes the cut each time, but due to recent events, this became the clear winner. Also, “I feel ya homie” gets me every. time.

 

STORY OF THE YEAR NOMINATIONS

-          Justin Demps, “Christmas came early”

-          Jonathan Brassington, “JB’s Pick 6; Week 8”

-          Justin Demps, “Fantasy Football Blues”

-          Jonathan Brassington, “Whom is who 3?”

WINNER: Justin Demps, “Christmas came early”

Synopsis: While there were multiple stories, they were primarily all written by two or three authors. The big deciding factor in this came down to the imgur (though I’m a huge Gif fan). I want to one day Google search ”Dan” and find this and show my kids. Classic.

CHRISTIAN STORY NOMINATIONS

-          Hery Diaz, “Time”

-          Heathens, 0

WINNER: Hery Diaz, “Time”

Synopsis: Again, I was a little surprised this year. You can always count on someone to remind us that God made us special and He loves us very much, but there was only one this year.

VIDEO OF THE YEAR NOMINATIONS:

-          Steven Hutchison, “Breaking .500”

-          Hery Diaz, “Week 8”

-          Jonathan Brassington,

-          Steven Hutchison, “Are you excited?”

WINNER: Steven Hutchison, “Breaking .500”

Synopsis: Let’s be honest, Steve won first, second and third place (Helu, Helu) this year..."Are you excited?" was probably the favorite but, "Breaking .500" was brilliant (and he won that week).    

CREATIVITY OF THE YEAR NOMINATIONS:

-          Jonathan Brassington, “JB’s Podcast”

-          Steven Hutchison, “Ugly People”

-          Justin Demps, “diddanlose.com”

WINNER: Jonathan Brassington, “JB’s Podcast”

Synopsis: This was a TOUGH decision…a podcast, song and website were created this year in the league. However JB produced a podcast with background music, special guest, GM involvement, etc. The other two were great, great ideas but they didn’t involve having to work around other people’s time (which automatically makes anything tougher). Well done JB, well done…and congrats to all of the 2013 winners!!! Till next year…   

When you look back on all the great memories of the year, you could almost have to ask, “how does one stay off the page!?”